• Does a perceived imperfection prevent you from achieving your goals?
• Are your proudly independent?
• Can you accept help from others?
• Do you often think, “Why can’t I get going?”
• Do you rehash situations and wish they had gone better?
• Are you afraid to let others see your vulnerable side?
• Do your criticisms of others outweigh your compliments?
• Do you find it easier to complain about something instead of having it fixed?
• Have you had a loss that you haven’t sufficiently grieved for?
• Have you had a major life change that you didn’t give yourself enough time to adjust to?

If you answered ‘often’ or ‘always’ to most of these questions, you may be worrying more about things than actually working on them.

When toxic thoughts loom large in your life, you stay rooted in fear rather than moving on to a more fulfilling life. It is related to “over-thinking”

When you over-think, you go over your negative thoughts and feelings, examine them, question them. Pondering over life and soul matters can lead to self-improvement but when that pondering turns into nagging little thoughts, it is time to tone it down.

A toxic thought is one that undermines your forward-moving direction on things.

It is often a self-protecting tool that outgrows its usefulness in adulthood.

A child who grew up in a very chaotic and changeable household for example, may develop a need to be organised and control his/her world in order to be sage.

This may result in the in the development of thoughts and perspectives to help her cope when life becomes chaotic or out of control.

She may tell herself things like “If it is going to be right, I’ll need to do it myself.”

Rant and Rave:

Centres around some wrong we believe has been done to us. It takes on an air of wounded self- righteousness and will focus on designing a retribution that will severely sting our victimisers.

There will be thoughts like “I can’t believe they would do this to me,” can lead to impulsive choices along the line of spontaneously resigning from their job, hopeless law suits or rash decision-making that backfires.

Runaway Train:

These are thoughts that take on a life of their own, or a-life-of-their-own thoughts. They begin innocently but begin to spiral out of proportion we entertain possible causes for our feelings.

A thought such as “I am feeling low,” then leads to “I have no friends etc etc.”

This causes us to see problems that don’t really exist or are not as big as our thoughts make them out to be.

They can also cause us to make bad decisions about these problems we feel we have. We confront ours, we decide to quit our job / school / etc acting out our bad moods and exaggerated concerns.

Random Rumbles:

When you cannot focus on one thought or issue in the quagmire of your thoughts, it leads to a feeling of being shut down and isolated. Jumbles thoughts occur when we do not move in a straight line from one problem to another.

All kinds of concerns, many of them unrelated, flood our minds at the same time.

This can lead to drinking alcohol, gambling taking drugs, leading to a feeling of being immobilised and unable to see a clear path forward.

If you keep thinking negatively, you will keep yourself confused, discouraged, vengeful and depressed. Declare your mind a battle-free zone.

Develop a zero tolerance for chronic negativity.

Have short term strategies by removing yourself from the situation like going for a walk, talking to a counsellor, visiting friends, going to a movie.

Stop waiting to be rescued. Gain new perspectives and use new strategies like feeling the pain then moving on.

Learn to recognise your negative thoughts. Don’t rush, be gentle, be prepared to address the root of the sabotaging thought rather than reacting to its toxicity.

Learn to stop these thoughts. Avoid future bouts of self-sabotage.